A Gift for Mom, From Mom

By Dr. Peter Swanz

Mother’s Day is here. This holiday provides an important opportunity to share an observation I often see in the moms that come into my office. I think women, and mothers in particular, embrace an unspoken agreement that the needs of their family come first, even before their own needs.

This approach is detrimental because Mom sees her own needs and wants as a hindrance to meeting the needs and wants of her family. She will then either neglect her own well-being or she will figure out another way to justify her needs through action focused around the family. Either way, her stress load increases and ultimately the whole family suffers in the long term.

Owning our wants and needs is not a selfish practice. Self-neglect, often portrayed as martyrdom eventually leads to an imbalance in the health and vitality of the family collective. It cannot be addressed by a continual focus on the family; it must be resolved through the individual’s own journey. When the individual’s wants and needs are being addressed sufficiently, the focus can then return back to the family collective. Ultimately, that is what Mom wanted all along: a happy and healthy family.

So how do you give yourself the gift of a happy family for Mother’s Day?

First, let go of the idea that it is selfish or self-indulgent to take care of your own needs. Children learn and replicate the behaviors that their parents model for them. In order for children to want to take care of themselves as they grow older, show them how to do it today. Second, incorporate self-care habits into your daily, weekly, and monthly routine. Third, allow yourself to understand that your needs are just as important as the needs of the other individual members of the family. Allow yourself the daily quiet time for prayer and/or meditation.

Begin setting aside an hour each week to bathe while listening to an inspirational book. Take a walk alone or with family or friends. Incorporate Full or Broad Spectrum CBD Oil into your nightly routine for more restful sleep. Repeat these practices over and over again until they become the new normal for your family’s life. That’s how transformation happens.